PART 6

Did you read it?” Isle whispered. Silently, she leaned against the wall. HEr eyes were fearful.
“Yes.” I couldn’t look at her anymore. “Blaire said you got the paperbag, so i went here.”
The stillness was almost tangible. It held us frozen to our positions.
“Henna, i love him. ” her voice was brimming with fierce stubborness.
After a few deep breaths, i spoke. “Does he love you?”
We looked at each other.
“You don’t love him. I can make him happy.” Isle said.
“You don’t decide for me Isle, or for Kent.” I replied coldly.
“You’ll only hurt him.”
“Love and pain go hand in hand. You of all people can attest to that.” I said. “You know nothing of my suffering.”
“I know how much you broke him. It was me who pieced him back.” I didn’t answer that.
My next statement had a hint of justification. “I turned up at the beach, Isle. I did. TOo bad, i was a little too late. To me, it seemed like you guys already had each other. So i left. But i was there. Because st that point, i wanted Kent.” Selfish as i am, i really love him. I intended to forget him for you. It never worked. And now that your three months is over, we’re on even footing. I’ll fight for him twice as hard as you will.”
Monster or not, i felt unchained. This may be a lose-lose situation, but I’ve made my choice. I feel liberated. All i care about is that i knew i was whole. I’m doing what’s perfectly right. I’ve delayed this battle far too long and it has impatiently presented itself.
“I would’ve given everything to hear you say that, Henna.”
Both Isle and me faced him at the same time. The walls around us were closing in. My room was suddenly too crowded for us.
“Kent..”I swallowed the lump in my throat. he glanced at ISle, then turned to me.
“Don’t feel like you need to explain.” he murmured. His eyes stared into mine. Unreadable as it was, i can’t help but think how much I missed the way he looked at me. Yet, something stirred inside me. The changes in them were discernable. In my peripheral vision, i saw Isle’s tears streaming.
“Sorry if it took ages for me to figure out . Everything’s pretty crazy now and that’s because i’m crazy. Still, no matter how different things are from before, there are words i need you to hear.” I breathed. “Kent, I love you.”
I could taste it. The external peace, the internal torrent of emotions.
My turning point is here. he closed his eyes.
“I loved you, too.” Kent murmured. “You know i did.”
Confusion washed over me as i caught the past tense.
“Did? What…what do you mean?”
Kent’s gaze strayed towards my window. “Growing up with you, i never saw anyone, Henna. I loved you since we were kids. I knew you loved me, too. But i was aware as well that it would take time before you realize it. I waited. I forgave you again and again even though i was hurting every single lie you make. Until i took pity on myself. The dte ont he beach was the last straw. Eventually, it dawned on me that maybe i deserved so much better.”
“Of course you do.” I laughed hysterically through my own tears. “Kent, if you knew i didn’t ditch you, if you knew i was there, what would’ve happened? Would’ve it made a difference?”
“It wont make a difference now.” he answered. “Please, tell me. I need to know.”
He thought it out. “Maybe.”
That was all i needed to hear. Sure, it made the pain worse. Somehow though, i could locate where it all went wrong.
“I never knew I’d get over you. But I did.”
“Kent…”
“You’d get over me too.”
“But not today. Or soon.”
He walked away.
“Kent, please stay.”Forget pride. Forget shame. Forget identity. Right now, my life depends on his answer.
“Don’t beg me. I don’t want to hurt you.”
To give up is not an option. “I’m begging you know. Please stay.”
“Henna, don’t make this any harder than it already is.” I pushed my courage.
“Please, i need you. Stay with me. I want you back. I love you, Kent. I do.”
“I’m in love with someone else.” He looked at Isle as he reached out to her.
I ran to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. The t-shirt he wore was now drenched in my tears.
Nothing prepared me for this pain. Vulnerability was something i never embraced then. However, it was the staggering rejection that hit me full in the face, or in this case every bit of the body that i own. Reason gripped mewhen few minutes passed. Slowly, my upper limbs pried themselves away from Kent’s neck. I gazed determinedly at the floor.
“Please leave me alone.” I managed to choke out.
“Henna, I’m sorry.” Kent started to say.
“I’ll be fine. Just let me be alone.” they departed. I shut the door and fell down to my knees. There was no battle today because its been fought 3 months ago. And i am not a warrior in this love war; i was the collateral damage for KEnt’s and ISle’s love. I was their test for them to find each other. Yet again, this realization fails to alleviate the pain by a quarter of an inch. I must will myself to sniff him out of my system. Acceptance shall come later, because right now i start with stage one of my grieving process. NEcessary of course so i may progress one day at a time.