Been a month since….
I tore away from out circle as i darted on to my next class. No hurry, really since i’ve still got half an hour before i sit (and eventually snore) at trigonometry.
I passed through the socer field, oblivious to the varsity team training.
For a split second, i really thought i’d been mugged in broad daylight. I sure hit the back of my head so bad I cried “Ouch!”
I whirled on the spot.
Oh. Right. His worried face was seriously disarming.
“Whoa, are you alright? I’m truly sorry, i swear i’ll drop to my knees if you want me to. Sorry.”
“I’m okay. Don’t worry. My brain cells are intact, i think. ” i joked while still grimacing.
“Look, i’m terribly sorry. I must get you to the clinic.” he seemed genuinely concerned.
“No need. I’ll be fine. Really. Your soccer ball’s rock hard but my skull can handle it. I swear.” I smiled.
He grinned. Soon as he was sure i wasn’t gonna have a concussion, he relaxed.
“Oh, by the way,” he stuck out his hand confidently. “Thrace Rivers. You know, in case you want to press charges.”
I chuckled. Outrageously handsome guy with goofy sense of humor. Hmmmm….
“Henna Danvers. DOn’t fret. I’ve absolutely got no plans to have you arrested.”
“Thanks.” he was positively happy now.
“Anyways, I think I still owe you. So, if you really forgive me, uh, can i see you on Saturday, 2 pm?
Cocky. His pickup lines may not be original but at least they’re potent. For me.
“Sure. As long as you don’t bring your soccer ball on our date.”
And we laughed together.
“C’mon, don’t downplay it. Are you still hurt?”
No. I’ve healed - i whispered to myself.
“No, i guess not.”
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
PART 6
Did you read it?” Isle whispered. Silently, she leaned against the wall. HEr eyes were fearful.
“Yes.” I couldn’t look at her anymore. “Blaire said you got the paperbag, so i went here.”
The stillness was almost tangible. It held us frozen to our positions.
“Henna, i love him. ” her voice was brimming with fierce stubborness.
After a few deep breaths, i spoke. “Does he love you?”
We looked at each other.
“You don’t love him. I can make him happy.” Isle said.
“You don’t decide for me Isle, or for Kent.” I replied coldly.
“You’ll only hurt him.”
“Love and pain go hand in hand. You of all people can attest to that.” I said. “You know nothing of my suffering.”
“I know how much you broke him. It was me who pieced him back.” I didn’t answer that.
My next statement had a hint of justification. “I turned up at the beach, Isle. I did. TOo bad, i was a little too late. To me, it seemed like you guys already had each other. So i left. But i was there. Because st that point, i wanted Kent.” Selfish as i am, i really love him. I intended to forget him for you. It never worked. And now that your three months is over, we’re on even footing. I’ll fight for him twice as hard as you will.”
Monster or not, i felt unchained. This may be a lose-lose situation, but I’ve made my choice. I feel liberated. All i care about is that i knew i was whole. I’m doing what’s perfectly right. I’ve delayed this battle far too long and it has impatiently presented itself.
“I would’ve given everything to hear you say that, Henna.”
Both Isle and me faced him at the same time. The walls around us were closing in. My room was suddenly too crowded for us.
“Kent..”I swallowed the lump in my throat. he glanced at ISle, then turned to me.
“Don’t feel like you need to explain.” he murmured. His eyes stared into mine. Unreadable as it was, i can’t help but think how much I missed the way he looked at me. Yet, something stirred inside me. The changes in them were discernable. In my peripheral vision, i saw Isle’s tears streaming.
“Sorry if it took ages for me to figure out . Everything’s pretty crazy now and that’s because i’m crazy. Still, no matter how different things are from before, there are words i need you to hear.” I breathed. “Kent, I love you.”
I could taste it. The external peace, the internal torrent of emotions.
My turning point is here. he closed his eyes.
“I loved you, too.” Kent murmured. “You know i did.”
Confusion washed over me as i caught the past tense.
“Did? What…what do you mean?”
Kent’s gaze strayed towards my window. “Growing up with you, i never saw anyone, Henna. I loved you since we were kids. I knew you loved me, too. But i was aware as well that it would take time before you realize it. I waited. I forgave you again and again even though i was hurting every single lie you make. Until i took pity on myself. The dte ont he beach was the last straw. Eventually, it dawned on me that maybe i deserved so much better.”
“Of course you do.” I laughed hysterically through my own tears. “Kent, if you knew i didn’t ditch you, if you knew i was there, what would’ve happened? Would’ve it made a difference?”
“It wont make a difference now.” he answered. “Please, tell me. I need to know.”
He thought it out. “Maybe.”
That was all i needed to hear. Sure, it made the pain worse. Somehow though, i could locate where it all went wrong.
“I never knew I’d get over you. But I did.”
“Kent…”
“You’d get over me too.”
“But not today. Or soon.”
He walked away.
“Kent, please stay.”Forget pride. Forget shame. Forget identity. Right now, my life depends on his answer.
“Don’t beg me. I don’t want to hurt you.”
To give up is not an option. “I’m begging you know. Please stay.”
“Henna, don’t make this any harder than it already is.” I pushed my courage.
“Please, i need you. Stay with me. I want you back. I love you, Kent. I do.”
“I’m in love with someone else.” He looked at Isle as he reached out to her.
I ran to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. The t-shirt he wore was now drenched in my tears.
Nothing prepared me for this pain. Vulnerability was something i never embraced then. However, it was the staggering rejection that hit me full in the face, or in this case every bit of the body that i own. Reason gripped mewhen few minutes passed. Slowly, my upper limbs pried themselves away from Kent’s neck. I gazed determinedly at the floor.
“Please leave me alone.” I managed to choke out.
“Henna, I’m sorry.” Kent started to say.
“I’ll be fine. Just let me be alone.” they departed. I shut the door and fell down to my knees. There was no battle today because its been fought 3 months ago. And i am not a warrior in this love war; i was the collateral damage for KEnt’s and ISle’s love. I was their test for them to find each other. Yet again, this realization fails to alleviate the pain by a quarter of an inch. I must will myself to sniff him out of my system. Acceptance shall come later, because right now i start with stage one of my grieving process. NEcessary of course so i may progress one day at a time.
“Yes.” I couldn’t look at her anymore. “Blaire said you got the paperbag, so i went here.”
The stillness was almost tangible. It held us frozen to our positions.
“Henna, i love him. ” her voice was brimming with fierce stubborness.
After a few deep breaths, i spoke. “Does he love you?”
We looked at each other.
“You don’t love him. I can make him happy.” Isle said.
“You don’t decide for me Isle, or for Kent.” I replied coldly.
“You’ll only hurt him.”
“Love and pain go hand in hand. You of all people can attest to that.” I said. “You know nothing of my suffering.”
“I know how much you broke him. It was me who pieced him back.” I didn’t answer that.
My next statement had a hint of justification. “I turned up at the beach, Isle. I did. TOo bad, i was a little too late. To me, it seemed like you guys already had each other. So i left. But i was there. Because st that point, i wanted Kent.” Selfish as i am, i really love him. I intended to forget him for you. It never worked. And now that your three months is over, we’re on even footing. I’ll fight for him twice as hard as you will.”
Monster or not, i felt unchained. This may be a lose-lose situation, but I’ve made my choice. I feel liberated. All i care about is that i knew i was whole. I’m doing what’s perfectly right. I’ve delayed this battle far too long and it has impatiently presented itself.
“I would’ve given everything to hear you say that, Henna.”
Both Isle and me faced him at the same time. The walls around us were closing in. My room was suddenly too crowded for us.
“Kent..”I swallowed the lump in my throat. he glanced at ISle, then turned to me.
“Don’t feel like you need to explain.” he murmured. His eyes stared into mine. Unreadable as it was, i can’t help but think how much I missed the way he looked at me. Yet, something stirred inside me. The changes in them were discernable. In my peripheral vision, i saw Isle’s tears streaming.
“Sorry if it took ages for me to figure out . Everything’s pretty crazy now and that’s because i’m crazy. Still, no matter how different things are from before, there are words i need you to hear.” I breathed. “Kent, I love you.”
I could taste it. The external peace, the internal torrent of emotions.
My turning point is here. he closed his eyes.
“I loved you, too.” Kent murmured. “You know i did.”
Confusion washed over me as i caught the past tense.
“Did? What…what do you mean?”
Kent’s gaze strayed towards my window. “Growing up with you, i never saw anyone, Henna. I loved you since we were kids. I knew you loved me, too. But i was aware as well that it would take time before you realize it. I waited. I forgave you again and again even though i was hurting every single lie you make. Until i took pity on myself. The dte ont he beach was the last straw. Eventually, it dawned on me that maybe i deserved so much better.”
“Of course you do.” I laughed hysterically through my own tears. “Kent, if you knew i didn’t ditch you, if you knew i was there, what would’ve happened? Would’ve it made a difference?”
“It wont make a difference now.” he answered. “Please, tell me. I need to know.”
He thought it out. “Maybe.”
That was all i needed to hear. Sure, it made the pain worse. Somehow though, i could locate where it all went wrong.
“I never knew I’d get over you. But I did.”
“Kent…”
“You’d get over me too.”
“But not today. Or soon.”
He walked away.
“Kent, please stay.”Forget pride. Forget shame. Forget identity. Right now, my life depends on his answer.
“Don’t beg me. I don’t want to hurt you.”
To give up is not an option. “I’m begging you know. Please stay.”
“Henna, don’t make this any harder than it already is.” I pushed my courage.
“Please, i need you. Stay with me. I want you back. I love you, Kent. I do.”
“I’m in love with someone else.” He looked at Isle as he reached out to her.
I ran to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. The t-shirt he wore was now drenched in my tears.
Nothing prepared me for this pain. Vulnerability was something i never embraced then. However, it was the staggering rejection that hit me full in the face, or in this case every bit of the body that i own. Reason gripped mewhen few minutes passed. Slowly, my upper limbs pried themselves away from Kent’s neck. I gazed determinedly at the floor.
“Please leave me alone.” I managed to choke out.
“Henna, I’m sorry.” Kent started to say.
“I’ll be fine. Just let me be alone.” they departed. I shut the door and fell down to my knees. There was no battle today because its been fought 3 months ago. And i am not a warrior in this love war; i was the collateral damage for KEnt’s and ISle’s love. I was their test for them to find each other. Yet again, this realization fails to alleviate the pain by a quarter of an inch. I must will myself to sniff him out of my system. Acceptance shall come later, because right now i start with stage one of my grieving process. NEcessary of course so i may progress one day at a time.
PART 5
“I’ve told you since day 1..!”
“Please BLaire! That’s the 14th time you said that!”
“You should’ve listened first time i said it!”
I slumped back to my seat. Defeated as always. Blaire gets it right as often as i get it wrong, meaning frequently.
“If i see him in the beach tonight, i’ll end up his long wait, Blaire.” I whispered.
Blaire was quiet. A few minutes after, she broke the silence. Her voice was so small, i wasn’t even sure she spoke.
“HEnna, what if…”
I was expectant but she never finished her statement.
“What if what?”
“Nothing.”
“Blaire? You know i hate suspense.”
“FOrget it. Anyways, how come you didn’y execute Drake straight ahead?”
The subject irked me at once. “I’ll get the gallows working first thing at dawnbreak.”
She chuckled. “I’m not surprised he’s turned out to be a jerk, but i gotta say he exceeded my expectations.”
“ugh. With flying colors i bet.”
Blaire snickered.
We reached the resort.
“I’ll park. You go find him. You’re late you know.”
I ejected from the seat and ran. I knew exactly how to find him.
THe balcony overlooking the sea was breathtaking. Yet, my frantic eyes searched for him. No sign. So i descended from the stairs leading to the shore.
Then i saw him. THem.
It was a bright moonlit night, making the picture painfully vivid.
I recognized KEnt immeadiately. He sobbed and then his face was buried in someone’s hair. Hteir hold on each other was tight but i didn’t fail to recognize their figures. Kent and ISle.
And i was taken aback. But nothing prepared me for what came next.
Isle initiated the kiss. Everything blurred, my eyes stung with scorching tears. Running again, i refused to stop till i was secured in Blaire’s arms.
Bouncing back to the biting reality, i focused on Isle’s notebook.
The next entry was written exactly 3 months ago. Yeah. With all courage i could muster, i read it out.
*The best days of my life has begun. I don’t know what good i did in this life to deserve this chance at happiness. Finally, after a long time, his eyes saw me. But there are still no guarantees. Maybe i’m just too euphoric to give it a thought. 3 months. I try not to think of it. Three months of trying out our relationship. If, after that time, he’s still in love with Henna, i’ll surrender.
Three months. My heart throbbed. My chest crushed by pain.
Holding on to my lifeline, i moved on to the last text. This one dated a month ago.
*I still see Henna’s face reflected in his eyes. Like it used to be, he would look up at the mention of her name. Henna and mine’s friendship has survived. Right now, she’s been on and off with a lot of guys. I’m used to her playing aorund but i could notice something has changed with her. But i couldn’t point a finger at it. Her 4 day ex-boyfriend, Nate Rollins said their fling wasn’t much. I dunno. I hate this thought but maybe wished to be back in her life. WHen three months is over, i’ll be at lost. But i’m not giving im up without a fight. I’m not.
A fight. Isles’ conviction had been cemented firm a long time ago. She won’t let go of him that easily. She’ll fight and she’ll fight hard.
“How about you, Henna?” I asked myself. “Are you up to it?”
Breathing has never been so difficult for me.
For three months, i tried to be happy for Isle and KEnt. In my obsession to get over KEnt as early as possible, i jumped from one hopeless relationship to another. Truth be told, i struggled to seek for self forgiveness. Losing KEnt was solely someone’s fault; mine. Funny , really. THe moment i decided i’m ready to hold him, he evaporated on the spot.
Inevitably, Isle came into my train of thoughts. What if Kent knocks on my door and fulfill my dearest wish? Coming back to my life. Will be able to deny myself and him the opportunity to play once more our long paused love story? Am i monstrous enough to torment Isle indefinitely? At this point of pondering, a voice called up behind me. Fate is a perfect director of dramatic confrontations.
“Please BLaire! That’s the 14th time you said that!”
“You should’ve listened first time i said it!”
I slumped back to my seat. Defeated as always. Blaire gets it right as often as i get it wrong, meaning frequently.
“If i see him in the beach tonight, i’ll end up his long wait, Blaire.” I whispered.
Blaire was quiet. A few minutes after, she broke the silence. Her voice was so small, i wasn’t even sure she spoke.
“HEnna, what if…”
I was expectant but she never finished her statement.
“What if what?”
“Nothing.”
“Blaire? You know i hate suspense.”
“FOrget it. Anyways, how come you didn’y execute Drake straight ahead?”
The subject irked me at once. “I’ll get the gallows working first thing at dawnbreak.”
She chuckled. “I’m not surprised he’s turned out to be a jerk, but i gotta say he exceeded my expectations.”
“ugh. With flying colors i bet.”
Blaire snickered.
We reached the resort.
“I’ll park. You go find him. You’re late you know.”
I ejected from the seat and ran. I knew exactly how to find him.
THe balcony overlooking the sea was breathtaking. Yet, my frantic eyes searched for him. No sign. So i descended from the stairs leading to the shore.
Then i saw him. THem.
It was a bright moonlit night, making the picture painfully vivid.
I recognized KEnt immeadiately. He sobbed and then his face was buried in someone’s hair. Hteir hold on each other was tight but i didn’t fail to recognize their figures. Kent and ISle.
And i was taken aback. But nothing prepared me for what came next.
Isle initiated the kiss. Everything blurred, my eyes stung with scorching tears. Running again, i refused to stop till i was secured in Blaire’s arms.
Bouncing back to the biting reality, i focused on Isle’s notebook.
The next entry was written exactly 3 months ago. Yeah. With all courage i could muster, i read it out.
*The best days of my life has begun. I don’t know what good i did in this life to deserve this chance at happiness. Finally, after a long time, his eyes saw me. But there are still no guarantees. Maybe i’m just too euphoric to give it a thought. 3 months. I try not to think of it. Three months of trying out our relationship. If, after that time, he’s still in love with Henna, i’ll surrender.
Three months. My heart throbbed. My chest crushed by pain.
Holding on to my lifeline, i moved on to the last text. This one dated a month ago.
*I still see Henna’s face reflected in his eyes. Like it used to be, he would look up at the mention of her name. Henna and mine’s friendship has survived. Right now, she’s been on and off with a lot of guys. I’m used to her playing aorund but i could notice something has changed with her. But i couldn’t point a finger at it. Her 4 day ex-boyfriend, Nate Rollins said their fling wasn’t much. I dunno. I hate this thought but maybe wished to be back in her life. WHen three months is over, i’ll be at lost. But i’m not giving im up without a fight. I’m not.
A fight. Isles’ conviction had been cemented firm a long time ago. She won’t let go of him that easily. She’ll fight and she’ll fight hard.
“How about you, Henna?” I asked myself. “Are you up to it?”
Breathing has never been so difficult for me.
For three months, i tried to be happy for Isle and KEnt. In my obsession to get over KEnt as early as possible, i jumped from one hopeless relationship to another. Truth be told, i struggled to seek for self forgiveness. Losing KEnt was solely someone’s fault; mine. Funny , really. THe moment i decided i’m ready to hold him, he evaporated on the spot.
Inevitably, Isle came into my train of thoughts. What if Kent knocks on my door and fulfill my dearest wish? Coming back to my life. Will be able to deny myself and him the opportunity to play once more our long paused love story? Am i monstrous enough to torment Isle indefinitely? At this point of pondering, a voice called up behind me. Fate is a perfect director of dramatic confrontations.
PART 4
I eyed my face in front of the mirror and gave myself a self-congratulatory smile. Yeah, didn’t do a bad job with my make up i guess. There was an unmistakable honking of horn and i figured it was Drake’s signal for me to come down. When i reached the doorstep, i hesitated. My head was spinning. Why does this feel so wrong? Before the negativity could sink in, i yanked the knob. I was surprised to see someone just a foot away from my door frame.
“Isle?”
“He said he’d still wait on the beach. 6:00 PM.” she said, looking directly at me.
“Uh. Just tell him I’m sorry. I don’t think i can come, i dunno what time i’ll get away from the party.” I replied timidly.
“He’s still gonna wait for you. You know that.!” there was anger in her voice now.
“Isle, please. I’m really sorry but i’m coming with Drake. I didn’t promise him anything-”
“But you got him hoping. You didn’t exactly busted him to his face. You lead him on to this, Henna. And right now, he’s being a leech clinging to that pathetic hope!” Isle cried vehemently.
“Isle, please don’t lecture me now, okay? Were friends…”
“Maybe not for long! Insensitivity is something i hate!” she stormed outside.
“Move up to the beat, everyone! Party up!” boomed Drake’s voice. The crowed cheered wildly as the infectious music raved on.
Drake held me by the hand as he introduced me to his guest, mostly of the male specie. Although i should be gratified, i felt absolutely irritated. It seemed to me he was bragging a life-size trophy. The faces of his friends irked me much.
Seeking refuge, i excused myself to the comfort room. I felt idiotic as i stared at myself in the mirror. Huh. I’ll get away as soon as i can without offending Drake, that’s what i thought. When i finally pulled my act together, i went out of the CR. Then, i saw the repulsive figure of a couple making out. It took me a few minutes before i identified the silhouette of the guy. Drake.
Tsk. That’s it. I’m outta here.
Betrayal washed over my being like cold water poured on top of my head. I don’t feel hurt. Just irritated. Hugely irritated. What was i thinking? I swear that the worst decision i’ve ever made in my whole lifetime was choosing Drake over KEnt.
Kent. His name echoed though me again. and this time, with a surge of guilt. I betrayed him too. But despite everything, i couldn’t help to think…was he still at the beach waiting for me?
I checked my watch. 10:30. Four and a half solid hours. Could he be that patient?
I closed my eyes, and heard a voice of reason.
Of course he’ll wait for me. He had always forgiven me even without a word of apology. Kent never asked for anything. He stayed even though i dated others, ignored his calls and messages, made him wait and all that. And in this very moment, its him that i could think of. He loved me far more than i ever deserved. Maybe, he’s still waiting.
I was debating to myself whether i take a cab or go back home to fetch my car and drive myself towards the beach when i a car screeched. I turned, and saw Blaire on the driver’s s
“Isle?”
“He said he’d still wait on the beach. 6:00 PM.” she said, looking directly at me.
“Uh. Just tell him I’m sorry. I don’t think i can come, i dunno what time i’ll get away from the party.” I replied timidly.
“He’s still gonna wait for you. You know that.!” there was anger in her voice now.
“Isle, please. I’m really sorry but i’m coming with Drake. I didn’t promise him anything-”
“But you got him hoping. You didn’t exactly busted him to his face. You lead him on to this, Henna. And right now, he’s being a leech clinging to that pathetic hope!” Isle cried vehemently.
“Isle, please don’t lecture me now, okay? Were friends…”
“Maybe not for long! Insensitivity is something i hate!” she stormed outside.
“Move up to the beat, everyone! Party up!” boomed Drake’s voice. The crowed cheered wildly as the infectious music raved on.
Drake held me by the hand as he introduced me to his guest, mostly of the male specie. Although i should be gratified, i felt absolutely irritated. It seemed to me he was bragging a life-size trophy. The faces of his friends irked me much.
Seeking refuge, i excused myself to the comfort room. I felt idiotic as i stared at myself in the mirror. Huh. I’ll get away as soon as i can without offending Drake, that’s what i thought. When i finally pulled my act together, i went out of the CR. Then, i saw the repulsive figure of a couple making out. It took me a few minutes before i identified the silhouette of the guy. Drake.
Tsk. That’s it. I’m outta here.
Betrayal washed over my being like cold water poured on top of my head. I don’t feel hurt. Just irritated. Hugely irritated. What was i thinking? I swear that the worst decision i’ve ever made in my whole lifetime was choosing Drake over KEnt.
Kent. His name echoed though me again. and this time, with a surge of guilt. I betrayed him too. But despite everything, i couldn’t help to think…was he still at the beach waiting for me?
I checked my watch. 10:30. Four and a half solid hours. Could he be that patient?
I closed my eyes, and heard a voice of reason.
Of course he’ll wait for me. He had always forgiven me even without a word of apology. Kent never asked for anything. He stayed even though i dated others, ignored his calls and messages, made him wait and all that. And in this very moment, its him that i could think of. He loved me far more than i ever deserved. Maybe, he’s still waiting.
I was debating to myself whether i take a cab or go back home to fetch my car and drive myself towards the beach when i a car screeched. I turned, and saw Blaire on the driver’s s
PART 3
“Wow. This is just…” Cali struggled to finish her sentence.
“A surprise.” supplied Portia.
“Not exactly. I’ve been telling you guys for ages. Drake Wade had it going on with Henna.” Blaire retorted.
“But we’ve got grounds for not believing it at first, Blaire.” Cali cried defensively. “Henna’s our friend and she’s a kickass but..”
“Drake Wade is a total snob. He walks around campus like he doesn’t even see any female. He exclusively dates college girls.” Portia added.
“Don’t wrack your brains. I know why you’re so ecstatic about this.” Blaire reasoned out. “However, we gotta think of what’s not so exciting about this.”
“Yeah. Kent.” Portia poited out the problem.
“Imagine how he’d react. Isle, you’re kinda pals with him, right? How do you think he’ll take this?” Cali asked.
“I dunno. Hard, i guess. He’s… He’s under the impression that Henna’s into him.” Isle said slowly.
Blaire scruinized her face.
“Well, WE know what Kent and Henna’s got is genuine but we also know she’s got no plans to get it any further. She just enjoys the flowers, the attention..”
I cringed at the place i eavesdropped. I decided to reveal myself.
“Hey, save me some pizza. Don’t dare wolf it down, P!” I dreeted cheerfully. I could swear they jumped in their seats a bit. I ignored it.
“I ain’t sharing this with you, Henna!” Portia answered after a few seconds.
Before i could reply, Cali let out a delighted squeal.
“Whoa! Pretty tulips! Lemme see it!” she didn’t wait for my consent as she grabbed the boquet on my hand. Together with Portia, they hovered over it.
“From Drake. He’s definately got taste. Hmm. What’s this-see you tonight?”
My cheeks burned as i felt all eyes on me. “Drake’s invited me to his MVP bash tonight.”
Portia and Cali gaped. Blaire’s ears perked up, while Isle stiffened.
“You’ve got previous engagements tonight, right?” Isle’s voice had a edge on it.
“Kent and i are supposed to have a date tonight, but… Drake made me promise! What was i supposed to do, Isle?” I cried desperately.
“Oh, i don’t know Henna. But maybe you could start by considering other people’s feelings.” she snapped. Guilt trip is alien to me but her words caught me off guard. I don’t have a memory of Isle being so hostile. In fact, she’s one of the most diplomatic person i came across with.
“She’s got a point. YOu should take your pick soon…” Blaire said. On that note, Isle chucked out her napkin and swiftly ambled away.
“A surprise.” supplied Portia.
“Not exactly. I’ve been telling you guys for ages. Drake Wade had it going on with Henna.” Blaire retorted.
“But we’ve got grounds for not believing it at first, Blaire.” Cali cried defensively. “Henna’s our friend and she’s a kickass but..”
“Drake Wade is a total snob. He walks around campus like he doesn’t even see any female. He exclusively dates college girls.” Portia added.
“Don’t wrack your brains. I know why you’re so ecstatic about this.” Blaire reasoned out. “However, we gotta think of what’s not so exciting about this.”
“Yeah. Kent.” Portia poited out the problem.
“Imagine how he’d react. Isle, you’re kinda pals with him, right? How do you think he’ll take this?” Cali asked.
“I dunno. Hard, i guess. He’s… He’s under the impression that Henna’s into him.” Isle said slowly.
Blaire scruinized her face.
“Well, WE know what Kent and Henna’s got is genuine but we also know she’s got no plans to get it any further. She just enjoys the flowers, the attention..”
I cringed at the place i eavesdropped. I decided to reveal myself.
“Hey, save me some pizza. Don’t dare wolf it down, P!” I dreeted cheerfully. I could swear they jumped in their seats a bit. I ignored it.
“I ain’t sharing this with you, Henna!” Portia answered after a few seconds.
Before i could reply, Cali let out a delighted squeal.
“Whoa! Pretty tulips! Lemme see it!” she didn’t wait for my consent as she grabbed the boquet on my hand. Together with Portia, they hovered over it.
“From Drake. He’s definately got taste. Hmm. What’s this-see you tonight?”
My cheeks burned as i felt all eyes on me. “Drake’s invited me to his MVP bash tonight.”
Portia and Cali gaped. Blaire’s ears perked up, while Isle stiffened.
“You’ve got previous engagements tonight, right?” Isle’s voice had a edge on it.
“Kent and i are supposed to have a date tonight, but… Drake made me promise! What was i supposed to do, Isle?” I cried desperately.
“Oh, i don’t know Henna. But maybe you could start by considering other people’s feelings.” she snapped. Guilt trip is alien to me but her words caught me off guard. I don’t have a memory of Isle being so hostile. In fact, she’s one of the most diplomatic person i came across with.
“She’s got a point. YOu should take your pick soon…” Blaire said. On that note, Isle chucked out her napkin and swiftly ambled away.
PART 2
Be honest to Isle.
Yeah right. That equals to bursting her bubble. Of all the people in the world, she deserves to be happy, more than she deserves the truth.
And anyways, its been three months. Drastic changes have been made. Like scars, everything fades into nothing but history.
I decided to shove the paper bag into the first garbage bin in sight. Soon as i reached the park, i saw one and unceremoniously carried out my intentions. Three longs steps away, i looked back at the innocent paper bag stashed on top of the bin. Insanity or plain curiosity? I dunno. I retrieved the bag and darted towards home.
Of course i’m weird. Kent often complained about that. Kent again.
After a few minutes, the contents of the paper bag were emptied underneath the foot of my bed. Leaning against the four post, i propped a trash can. One by one, i crumpled the pieces of paper and charged free throws.
Mostly scratch papers, exam papers, and print outs for school.
Then something caught my eye.
A diary?
Technically no. it was more of a jot down notebook. Across the cover, handwritten by Isle herself was scrawled-confessions.
I frowned. Sure, i know every person somehow finds solace by spilling out the beans. There are those who keep diaries. But not our circle of friends, and certainly not Isle. She unleashes herself through music. Through her flute.
I’ve never been the type to invade privacy, especially my friend’s. Personal space is a concept i respect. Suddenly though, i was hit by lightning-a memory.
Kent’s hand on Isle’s.
Curiosity consummated me. I flipped it open. The entry was dated 5 months ago.
> She’s all he talks about. What do i expect? I can bet my soul that he only befriended me because i happen to be Henna’s friend. Do i care if i’m used this way? No. I’m actually happy, in a sad, beautiful way. I don’t blame him. Not the slightest. Being Henna’s friend, i know what a great catch she is. Looks, wits, daring, funny. Between me and her, there’s no competition. So i’ll just sit tight. Maybe he’ll notice me someday. Maybe.
I froze. I’m inside Isle’s head. Five months ago. Back to the time when Kent was crazy over me. Chasing me. Flashbacks swarmed.
Yeah right. That equals to bursting her bubble. Of all the people in the world, she deserves to be happy, more than she deserves the truth.
And anyways, its been three months. Drastic changes have been made. Like scars, everything fades into nothing but history.
I decided to shove the paper bag into the first garbage bin in sight. Soon as i reached the park, i saw one and unceremoniously carried out my intentions. Three longs steps away, i looked back at the innocent paper bag stashed on top of the bin. Insanity or plain curiosity? I dunno. I retrieved the bag and darted towards home.
Of course i’m weird. Kent often complained about that. Kent again.
After a few minutes, the contents of the paper bag were emptied underneath the foot of my bed. Leaning against the four post, i propped a trash can. One by one, i crumpled the pieces of paper and charged free throws.
Mostly scratch papers, exam papers, and print outs for school.
Then something caught my eye.
A diary?
Technically no. it was more of a jot down notebook. Across the cover, handwritten by Isle herself was scrawled-confessions.
I frowned. Sure, i know every person somehow finds solace by spilling out the beans. There are those who keep diaries. But not our circle of friends, and certainly not Isle. She unleashes herself through music. Through her flute.
I’ve never been the type to invade privacy, especially my friend’s. Personal space is a concept i respect. Suddenly though, i was hit by lightning-a memory.
Kent’s hand on Isle’s.
Curiosity consummated me. I flipped it open. The entry was dated 5 months ago.
> She’s all he talks about. What do i expect? I can bet my soul that he only befriended me because i happen to be Henna’s friend. Do i care if i’m used this way? No. I’m actually happy, in a sad, beautiful way. I don’t blame him. Not the slightest. Being Henna’s friend, i know what a great catch she is. Looks, wits, daring, funny. Between me and her, there’s no competition. So i’ll just sit tight. Maybe he’ll notice me someday. Maybe.
I froze. I’m inside Isle’s head. Five months ago. Back to the time when Kent was crazy over me. Chasing me. Flashbacks swarmed.
PART 1 -
“Now that’s what us mortals call drop dead gorgeous,” i said in awe.
She grinned rather reluctantly.”Don’t try to spare my feelings, Henna. Tell the truth, so help you God. Do i look okay?”
“No you don’t. You look smashing!…Perfect for monthsaires.” i teased.
She sought the seat beside me.
“You remember?” she asked.
How could i forget?
“I detected, actually. You manifested the signs and symptoms yesterday, like agitation, drumming of fingers, flipping through the calendar for the nth time, and-”
“cut it out!” she laughed. So did i.
I noticed the paperbag she placed underneath the table.
“Anything edible in there?” i asked hopefully.
I saw a flicker of hesitancy in her eyes. If i hadn’t known her for 10 years, i wouldn’t have noticed.
“Nothing. Don’t get your hopes up. Just some junk from my room. I’ll throw them away later.”
Then her face lit up like midday sunshine. I didn’t even have to turn my neck to know.
There he was, carrying a bouquet of multi-colored roses and looking divine.
“Happy 3rd,” he uttered.
“Happy 3rd.” She replied breathlessly.
i looked away. i don’t need to see their lingering stares. Not today.
“Hey, Henna.” he finally greeted.
“Hi Kent.”
“What’s up?”
“Nothing too major. Not like you, obviously.” I joked. He smiled a small smile.
“How’s Thrace?”
Darn!Do i really need to talk about my pain in the ass ex-boyfriend?
“Henna really couldn’t care less.” Isle saved me from answering.
“What? Another breakup?” Kent spluttered.
I rolled my eyes.
“If my calculations are right, that’s the 5th time this month. And we’re still on the third week. What’s going on, Henna? You seem to be changing boyfriends as fast as your changing t-shirts?” Kent said.
I laughed. “Don’t worry about me. What’s high school without playgirls? We have a reputation to live up to, you know. They don’t give me the title for nothing.” i chuckled. ” Anyways, why are you guys still sitting around? Go date. This day comes to end.”
“Oh, yeah. We gotta stop over at Lee’s place first. I need to hand him something.” Isle said.
“looks like we have to go.” Kent stood up.
“Yeah. You guys enjoy the rest of the day.” I said.
“Bye!”
And they stalked off, hand in hand. I watched them, unconsciously biting my lower lip. If i had only been one notch smarter, this might have been an entirely different picture.
“Why are you even staring at them? Are you a masochist?” a voice sent me back to earth.
“Blaire. How long have you been there?”
She took Isle’s former seat. And signed.
“You’re being hard on yourself again, are you?” she looked right at me.
I avoided her gaze.
“I’m okay, Blaire. Stop being overly dramatic.” I turned to look at the school building.
“Stop the pretense. Drop it, Henna. I know you to the core. How could you stand this? If you can’t be brutally honest to Isle, then at least be honest to yourself.” Blaire said.
“Blaire, please.”
“You still haven’t forgiven yourself, haven’t you?”
I signed.
“That’s why you can’t tell Kent that the reason why you embraced being a ‘playgirl’ is because-”
“Blaire, stop it.”
“You’re not the only one who makes mistakes Henna.”
I couldn’t stand it.
I grabbed my things and seized the chance to escape her. Blaire, my ego.
“Wait, you left something!” she cried after me.
It was Isle’s paper bag. Without giving it a thought, i took it from her.
She grinned rather reluctantly.”Don’t try to spare my feelings, Henna. Tell the truth, so help you God. Do i look okay?”
“No you don’t. You look smashing!…Perfect for monthsaires.” i teased.
She sought the seat beside me.
“You remember?” she asked.
How could i forget?
“I detected, actually. You manifested the signs and symptoms yesterday, like agitation, drumming of fingers, flipping through the calendar for the nth time, and-”
“cut it out!” she laughed. So did i.
I noticed the paperbag she placed underneath the table.
“Anything edible in there?” i asked hopefully.
I saw a flicker of hesitancy in her eyes. If i hadn’t known her for 10 years, i wouldn’t have noticed.
“Nothing. Don’t get your hopes up. Just some junk from my room. I’ll throw them away later.”
Then her face lit up like midday sunshine. I didn’t even have to turn my neck to know.
There he was, carrying a bouquet of multi-colored roses and looking divine.
“Happy 3rd,” he uttered.
“Happy 3rd.” She replied breathlessly.
i looked away. i don’t need to see their lingering stares. Not today.
“Hey, Henna.” he finally greeted.
“Hi Kent.”
“What’s up?”
“Nothing too major. Not like you, obviously.” I joked. He smiled a small smile.
“How’s Thrace?”
Darn!Do i really need to talk about my pain in the ass ex-boyfriend?
“Henna really couldn’t care less.” Isle saved me from answering.
“What? Another breakup?” Kent spluttered.
I rolled my eyes.
“If my calculations are right, that’s the 5th time this month. And we’re still on the third week. What’s going on, Henna? You seem to be changing boyfriends as fast as your changing t-shirts?” Kent said.
I laughed. “Don’t worry about me. What’s high school without playgirls? We have a reputation to live up to, you know. They don’t give me the title for nothing.” i chuckled. ” Anyways, why are you guys still sitting around? Go date. This day comes to end.”
“Oh, yeah. We gotta stop over at Lee’s place first. I need to hand him something.” Isle said.
“looks like we have to go.” Kent stood up.
“Yeah. You guys enjoy the rest of the day.” I said.
“Bye!”
And they stalked off, hand in hand. I watched them, unconsciously biting my lower lip. If i had only been one notch smarter, this might have been an entirely different picture.
“Why are you even staring at them? Are you a masochist?” a voice sent me back to earth.
“Blaire. How long have you been there?”
She took Isle’s former seat. And signed.
“You’re being hard on yourself again, are you?” she looked right at me.
I avoided her gaze.
“I’m okay, Blaire. Stop being overly dramatic.” I turned to look at the school building.
“Stop the pretense. Drop it, Henna. I know you to the core. How could you stand this? If you can’t be brutally honest to Isle, then at least be honest to yourself.” Blaire said.
“Blaire, please.”
“You still haven’t forgiven yourself, haven’t you?”
I signed.
“That’s why you can’t tell Kent that the reason why you embraced being a ‘playgirl’ is because-”
“Blaire, stop it.”
“You’re not the only one who makes mistakes Henna.”
I couldn’t stand it.
I grabbed my things and seized the chance to escape her. Blaire, my ego.
“Wait, you left something!” she cried after me.
It was Isle’s paper bag. Without giving it a thought, i took it from her.
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